Saxton Spirituality

Its not uncommon that when people have children, they get a bit spiritual. Not just in the christening/baptism/dedication sense, but in a growing desire for some kind of spiritual roots. Chris and I are no exception to this, and being church leaders and all, Chris and I want to nurture our children in a Christian environment.Sunday School is an integral part of that, but we feel that primarily its our job to teach them .

I have high hopes. I imagine my children fervent in prayer on their cute little knees. I hear them singing sweet songs to Jesus, and understanding fundamental Biblical principles. Oh, their wisdom.Who knows maybe they'll even have dreams and visions and prophecies from the very early days.

And then there is reality, which goes something like this:

Worship
We generally have two "expressions" of worship. A CD and a guitar.
The CD is called Worship Jams (Seriously?) - a full of worship songs that have been souped up in one way or another. Generally made faster, bouncier and all together more hyper. Reminiscent of the "Now That's What I Call Music" (a dubious and destined to oversell/underdeliver title for a compilation series if ever I heard one) version of POP.
Zoe likes to be the DJ at these worship events, turning the CD on and off at any given moment and giggling. And bouncing. Tia dances and runs around the room, claps and jumps. Tia is quite into jumping off anything, especially if its high. So much of the worship time involves the words
"Tia get down!" and I am not talking about her dancing, though I'm proud to say she's got the moves.
Sometimes Tia runs around the room shouting "Jesus!" and collapses in a heap laughing. Then when Zoe stops the music, Tia holds a pose.
Obviously we devout Christian parents sing along looking enthusiastic whilst trying to stop Zoe from breaking the CD player and Tia from breaking her legs. Requests for songs by Barney or the Wiggles are deferred.

Guitar - well the girls love the acoustic feel. Keep music live and unplugged, perhaps even a little unhinged too. Zoe loves the guitar so has decided she will play it with Daddy. So she bangs it and hits it. Dare I dare to steer her away from it, and its like dragging a teenager away from a boyband, all kicking and screaming. Who knew of the bodyguard skills necessary for the worship experience?
Tia loves the guitar, but is content to play on her drums as loudly as possible. Suddenly her face takes on a very serious expression. "Enough!" she cries "Stop!" Zoe, having found her way back to Daddy and his guitar is not listening. I await my little one's revelation with baited breath.
Tia runs to the potty. "Got it." she says.
A few moments later, she stands to her feet and exclaims
"I did it!!"
Clearly worship times can really build the self esteem.

Prayer
We pray at meal times. We ask the girls to put their hands together as a sign that we are going to pray. You always know when you have gone on too long because you look down and see that the girls have started eating without you. Some days the hands only come together with a bit of pasta in them. But generally things run smoothly and Zoe screams "Ahhhmmmeeeeee!" at the end and the girls shout and cheer and whoop.
The special days are when we are eating with others. Chris and I pray and we end as we normally do by shouting amen and cheering and clapping. Only on these occasions, the girls just stare at us, as though we are doing something they've never seen before and are embarassed for us.

Bible
Now this we like to mix up a little. During advent, we had this advent calendar, and christmas tree ornaments of the Nativity (shepherds, star, angels, et al) and each day introduced a bit of the story and an ornament for the tree.
As far as the girls were concerned this was The Longest Story Ever Told. They were far more interesting in putting decorations on the tree and fighting over who got what. One evening Tia walked off in the middle of our God slot. She returned with her Children's Bible storybook, handed it to us and said "Read it". Nuff said.
We have these other books too. Right now Zoe and I are reading about the pig who shared his dinner with the Prodigal son. Zoe's taught me that Pig quacks like a duck.
Tia and I end each night with children's version of Ecclesiastes 3. The whole "there is a time for everything" bit. The time to live and a time to die has been exchanged (thankfully) for "A time to get muddy and squelchy, and a time to be clean and soapy". How cute is that?

So this along with car rides singing along to Soul Survivor, Brenton Brown and Chris Tomlin (with homegrown actions), thankful prayers (thank you for my broccoli, for my pasta and for my potty, and for my other potty...) and bible stories told by Pigs (prodigal son) and Ducks(who found Moses) and Donkeys (carrying the good samaritan, or hanging out with Shrek depending on our kids' moods) is our family spiritual life thus far!

Things I Miss About England: Faith

The wise sage and my ex- housemate Matt used to say "A church should know when it's dead"

So much has been documented about church decline in England that I'm sure I have little to add that won't have already been said. But when I was hanging out at Soul Survivor and Momentum, I got thinking of Matt's words again.

The great thing we see in the Bible is that death precedes new life. Death does not have to be the end; there is the hope of resurrection. During the time we spent in the UK, I came across churches, ministries, Christians who seemed to have stared death in the face. They no longer ignored or justified the numbers (or distinct lack of them); they saw the culture for what it was without condemning it. It would be easier, unstandable even, to get utterly cynical.
But instead it was like seeing snowdrops and crocuses on an otherwise dormant landscape.

A passion for a lifestyle of justice, an increased level of engaging with the culture, the church incarnate, environmental awareness and concern. People still preaching the gospel like the old school and still seeing an awakening. The workplace as the mission field. The ends of the earth within sight. Ordinary heartfelt worship in the presence of an extraordinary God. Old ideas, new expressions but all brimming with life.

I think when you know you something is dead, you have let it go. You grieve, your mourn, you may even wail and sob for awhile, But you know the thing you have loved is gone and there's no going back. The only way is forward, and eventually you come to terms with a new world. You might even smile again one day.

But only if you admit that its gone....

Sometimes I wonder if the energies we invest in things are trying to recussitate, keep alive something we should let go.
If we admit its already gone, then finally we can invest out energies in sowing something new into the land. Then we can look for the first signs of Spring.

Woman 2 Woman

I've been doing a lot of things with "just us girls" recently.

There was the book stuff, then the women's retreat. And most recently, Woman 2 Woman. It's a Bible Study thingy for women which Kandi and Lizzy started a few weeks back. As I watched the women, talking, laughing, crying, praying, it made me realise just how important girl time is in this stage of life.
When I was younger I found women's events not a little surreal. I appreciated the fact that all the songs were in a key that didn't require a harmony or an Adam's apple, but a lot of what I saw "just wasn't me" (Hmmm.I think what I was actually saying was that these events were not going to help me find a man, and so were irrelevant).

But now I just love these things. Perhaps now, I appreciate what I took for granted in my twenties. Adult conversation. Time. Space. Fun. The power of enduring friendship through thick and thin. So now I revel in the opportunity for a Nogales road trip. A couple of hours in Starbucks, or Common Grounds. A long distance phone call, or MSN chat. A chance to stop to breathe to .... anything. And these women's Bible studies, retreats etc - are a chance to stop and be with God and share God with one another. It's like time is suspended for a minute. Or at least the mundane is, or the crazy busyness, or whatever. Whatever.

Gathering with other women (single, married, younger, older, with kids, or kid free) like we've done in the past weeks has been healing, liberating, entertaining. I return to the family refreshed, inspired, ready (and full of ideas from my girls).
Life with 2 kids revealed to me just how much I need my village. How much we need each other.

So to the ladies out there (especially some of my Sheffield girls): Join a group, start a group, find time, make time. Make is social, make it spiritual. Just make it happen! And if you ever get the chance to get away for a weekend, retreat together, hang with each other, and God ... go for it.

The Kids Are Alright

The Saxton Quartet has spent the past few days with our interns, Year Team whatever we call 'em - with Tye, Ryan, Shaina and Nicole - who have been doing a year out thing. We've been at the lovely Bison Ranch (though the bison seem to have gone for a long walk) and are staying in fab log cabins.

Tia and Zoe love the gang. Tia has been teaching them some dance moves from The Wiggles Live DVD (no I've not got her off the Wiggles yet; this too shall pass). She bursts into song or squeals of delight just for the sheer fun of hanging out with everybody. Tia's not shy with any of them so talks to them non stop. If only they understood what she was saying...

Zoe has decided to give the gang the honour of letting them hold her until she sleeps. She seems to love Ryan's beard....
Every so often I see Ryan or Tye gazing at one of the girls sleeping. It's very sweet.

Our little retreat to Bison Ranch was for the purpose of spending time with the Year Teamers as their year out comes to a close. We've reviewed their year with them, encouraged them(not hard they are all amazing) and enjoyed them.

Its a mind blowing privilege to be involved in someone's life, to share their highs and lows, their tears and all that not so good stuff. It's great to see them overcome their obstacles and begin to take off.
It's also mind blowing to think that 10 - 15 years ago I was in their position. Looking at people in their 30's, thinking they were old, but had it all together, knew what life was all about. Somewhere since that time the baton got handed over and its our turn to run the lap as leaders and mentors and nurturers, mothers and fathers. Now our testimonies give hope for the future, we are somehow the evidence that it is worth it. Now its time to be as hands on and involved as people have been with me. People did more than mentor me, they invested in me, parented me. It was not a couple of hours a week, they opened up their lives and invited me in, without a time frame. Am I ready to do the same - now that I am more aware of the sacrifices it involves?

I'm glad God never asked me if I was ready for this, or if I was called! I'd be too busy looking at my 30's thinking "What the heck?"

Ready or not, here we are. And we love the young adults God has brought into our family. Yes, they're our family now, for as long as they need us. Call it a different kind of blend.

Sisters and Slumber Parties

I've just returned from CCOJ's women's retreat and we had a fabulous time! There was something incredibly powerful in gathering together with a bunch of women seeking to work out how to love God and do life. There was a whole lot of raw honesty, of tear drenched prayers; of grief and support, of smiles and hope. And there was a lot of laughter and new friendships. Our cabin was a blast. Get a group of young moms togther for a weekend of child-free time and a weekend with just us girls - and we will talk, laugh and squeal all night, I promise you!

And the stuff God did was just awesome. Yes, I know to the anglos reading this, "awesome" sounds incredibly American - but its the best word to use! It was awesome to see God heal and restore, to breathe new life into the broken, to give hope to the downcast.

The jacuzzi was pretty awesome too. That said, it was minus the bubbles so was more reminiscent of a very large hot bath, but we loved it anyway!!!