You, Here and Now

It was a Sunday Night at the Roxy about 8 years ago and Mal Calladine was preaching. I think it was Esther.The Roxy had a certain buzz about it.There were a few sentences Mal said that night that hit home. Something along the lines of

If not you, then who? If not here, then where? If not now, then when?
I was suitably challenged and inspired.I went home utterly convicted and then Monday morning and life got in the way, and soon those words were yesterday's news.

Funny how these words never truly left.They hid away in the recesses of my heart and mind, waiting for their time to come again. Waiting until I was ready to do what it took to change my life.
Now I am thinking of those words again, feeling ready. But I hear another sentence too.

"Who do you think you are, Joannah?"

Its a sentence with a mocking, pseudo incredulous tone. It might as well say "How dare you?"

It's been around as long as I can remember "Who do you think you are?" From school friends who thought I thought I was better than our world ( I did. I thought we all were).But even louder was the voice inside...
Its the sentence that I've often heard on the frontier, as I try to reach beyond where I and hope and dream for something new. Its unsettling, accusatory. Yet nowhere as loud as it used to be, its not allowed to bully me anymore. But occasionally I think I hear it, feel it again...
Some days I have the answer,I have the answer plenty.Sometimes I just ignore it. Sometimes, my only thought is - why shouldn't it be me?
What would I do if I didn't listen to the fears within, the scepticism without? What would I be? What would you do, what would you be?

I don't see Mal's words invidualistically,like some unique superstar thing.
I think it applies to us as people, spouses, friends, parents, leaders,neighbours, Christians, whatever. It applies to the ideas we have, but lack the confidence to share, the plans we'd make if only we'd...It applies to the job we'd apply for, the relationship we'd build, the things we'd say, the risk we'd take,the career change...it applies to our potential...
Why shouldn't it be you? Why shouldn't it be here? Why shouldn't it be now?

The Kids Are Alright

The Saxton Quartet has spent the past few days with our interns, Year Team whatever we call 'em - with Tye, Ryan, Shaina and Nicole - who have been doing a year out thing. We've been at the lovely Bison Ranch (though the bison seem to have gone for a long walk) and are staying in fab log cabins.

Tia and Zoe love the gang. Tia has been teaching them some dance moves from The Wiggles Live DVD (no I've not got her off the Wiggles yet; this too shall pass). She bursts into song or squeals of delight just for the sheer fun of hanging out with everybody. Tia's not shy with any of them so talks to them non stop. If only they understood what she was saying...

Zoe has decided to give the gang the honour of letting them hold her until she sleeps. She seems to love Ryan's beard....
Every so often I see Ryan or Tye gazing at one of the girls sleeping. It's very sweet.

Our little retreat to Bison Ranch was for the purpose of spending time with the Year Teamers as their year out comes to a close. We've reviewed their year with them, encouraged them(not hard they are all amazing) and enjoyed them.

Its a mind blowing privilege to be involved in someone's life, to share their highs and lows, their tears and all that not so good stuff. It's great to see them overcome their obstacles and begin to take off.
It's also mind blowing to think that 10 - 15 years ago I was in their position. Looking at people in their 30's, thinking they were old, but had it all together, knew what life was all about. Somewhere since that time the baton got handed over and its our turn to run the lap as leaders and mentors and nurturers, mothers and fathers. Now our testimonies give hope for the future, we are somehow the evidence that it is worth it. Now its time to be as hands on and involved as people have been with me. People did more than mentor me, they invested in me, parented me. It was not a couple of hours a week, they opened up their lives and invited me in, without a time frame. Am I ready to do the same - now that I am more aware of the sacrifices it involves?

I'm glad God never asked me if I was ready for this, or if I was called! I'd be too busy looking at my 30's thinking "What the heck?"

Ready or not, here we are. And we love the young adults God has brought into our family. Yes, they're our family now, for as long as they need us. Call it a different kind of blend.