Those who can, cheat.

So after giving it some at the gym, I figured it's time to take things to the next level health and fitness wise. What kind of January would it be if I didn't resolve to get fitter, eat healthier, tone up, shape up etc.? What kind of person would I be if I didn't resolve to make this year the year when I really accomplished the above -just like I passionately resolved last year, and the year before, and...

But alongside all the magazines and shows promising perfect healthy recipes and work outs that whip those abs into shape....are all the corner cutting alternatives that promise so much more, and so much more quickly.

There are the obvious things like cosmetic augmentation for cosmetic reasons. New parts! Back in the day it seemed plastic surgery was very Michael Jackson and rather taboo. But now I see advertisements everywhere, practices springing up all over the place. Funny how the world changes.


We all know hard work, exercise and disciplined food choices are the way to a healthy lifestlye. But if I'd had a caeserean and my ob/gyn offered to deal with the excess baggage, I would relinquish my principles (and my fat) in a nano second.

I go to Robecks, my super smoothie place. And they offer supplements for your smoothie, like extra vitamin C etc. Funny how I always choose the one that offers to speed up your metabolism.

I don't know if this is just a girl thing - but there is also the body affirming underwear a la Bridget Jones. They add just that little extra for the safe enclosure of the beer belly, and smooth down the muffin top (awful phrase and yet sooooo irresistible). But others add booty and allsorts - who needs surgery - get yourself down to your local department store (Do guys have like undies that create 6 packs?)!
And now Walmart is stocking this wonder pill Alli - that accelerates weight loss. That's not all it accelerates though if you aren't careful mind you. If you break the rules you may suffer explosive results!

Obviously the deep and profound truth is that all of the above is pretty shallow. We are so much more than our clothing size, and at some point we need to be happy with who we are. When I was younger I thought that age would teach me this. Yet as I enter my mid thirties, I simply discover that there are more expensive ways to handle the insecurity. I didn't think there was an obsession with youth until I realised I was not considered young anymore !

Post babyness, there is something patently ridiculous about wanting to go back to the way we were. And yet its crazy to think that something so life altering as babyness wouldn't throw you so much that you reach into the past occasionally to recall who you are. I guess its inevitable that our insecurities are enlarged and exploited by those who fill our stores with expensive products and empty promises, who still tell us after all this time how to look, what to want, who to be.

Much of the time , those of us who have chosen something more lasting than looks as life's anchor can laugh and walk away. Much of the time. Even then, on a bad bloated day, the odd comment can get under our skin and gnaw away at us.

But we're busy people and we just don't have the time for this nowadays, what with jobs, relationships, kids, life to consider.
So those who can, cheat.

Curls and Curly Q's

See you start talking again and there is just so much to say.

This post is utterly meaningless if you've never had a problem with your hair. And I'd kinda be guessing you're bald. And bald is a great look on people.I am serious.

I've always had quite an intense "relationship", shall we say with my hair. The 'fro and I have been through so much together in terms of combs, styles (ooh the 80's) and chemicals. I've straightened it, curled it, straightened and curled it. I've gone au naturel. I've had thread in it (not my prefered style as a 6 year old - who likes having a hairstlye that looks like a spider is on your head? Let me tell you people, NO ON DOES.Its not cute, its not pretty. Its just plain humiliating, and a nightmare to sleep in. Just back off your child's head, OK? There. I've said it). I've put extensions in it, hot combed it, flat -ironed it, tonged it, flicked it, cornrowed it, had beads in it (not the most practical, but great sound. But don't expect to surprise anyone by creeping up behind them. Of course they can hear you) twisted it. I've never left it alone. I've put a lot into it and and had a lot fall out of it!I've spent a lot of my life at the hair salon, or at some random hairdresser's house.

And I am always, always contemplating what to do next with it.

In the black community where visits to the hairdressers can take an entire day - hair can be at the heart of your community. But I reckon for all of us - regardless of colour or creed, hair is important, period. Hairdressers can make or break your self esteem, at least for a little while.

Yes, I have an intense relationship with hair.

And now not only my own, but my two little girls who have hair that is very different to both their parents.

Its been a little challenging to find the right products for the girls hair. My stuff is way too heavy, Chris' stuff - just not enough. And their hair is very different from each other too. And we all need different combs and brushes.

So fueled by my anal personality, and many experiences of putting the wrong chemical in my hair and it falling out - literally - I've been determined to give my girls' hair a great start in life. My friend Jennifer, a biracial woman with perfect hair told me

"There is one thing you will have to accept with your girls hair. Its going to be EXPENSIVE"

I didn't mind, I've shoved enough cheap rubbish in my hair for all of us.

So I've been surfing the net and reading up and surfing some more, emailing a few contacts (including the rather unsual one of a pastor friend called Lance in OK,who in a previous calling used to work with ethnic hair products. A high calling indeed) Eventually I settled on a company and ordered some stuff.

It arrived the other day. I resisted trying it out straight away cos the girls have grown tired of me messing with their hair. Especially Tia who in the run up to being Beccy's flowergirl had to go to her daycare group thingy everday with all these different fancy updo's that I was trying out. She was not impressed with me that month.At all.

So 24 hours in (48 for Tia) I got to work.

And seriously - this stuff is good....

Introducing the Curly Q's product line by Curls. Lots of great things for my Tia and Zoe's hair. I love em! I'm going to settle with these guys for awhile before I move on and try out some other ones I've found.

Everyone complimented the girls on their hair - or me as their mom who did their hair, last night at church, so I guess something must have worked! But alas you don't get any pictures right now. They weren't going to stay still any longer !

Flowergirls, Princesses, Sugar and Spice

I have made no secret of my absolute distain for the whole entitled Princess culture thing. The fairytales and the saccharin and the feeling that its all a bit limp wristed and pointless and amoral. I want strong images of feminity, not that waiting to be rescued nonsense. The only princess my girls really heard of was Shrek's Fiona, cos I am not a fan of Disney's limitations on beauty either. And so the militant perspective went on.

Tia was Beccy Beresic's flowergirl, so we had to go to David's Bridal to try on dresses. Expecting Tia to hate it, I tried to make it as simple and quick as possible.
But then she tried on the dress and fell in love with it.

"Mommy, dance with me" she says. We spin and twirl around the store. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and is rapt with wonder.

"I love my dress! Let's do ballet"

No longer needing my lead, Tia spins and dances and giggles and does her version of ballet. Captivated customers smile and sigh and coo, and the staff are grateful for the free advertising.

"I'm a princess!"

At that moment, my mind is bombarded by all manner of thoughts:

That my daughter is gorgeous, beautiful, charming and adorable. Its wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Wonderful, because she is. Terrifying because I've been given this wonderful gift and we've got to raise her, nurture her.It would help if I had a clue what I was doing! I know I am not alone in this thought. Anyway, I digress, but you know how thoughts wander...Yes, you are a princess I think to myself and I don't care how much of a contradiction that makes me right now, how much of a hypocrite, in this moment I will live the dream and enjoy it with you. Maybe I am just a bitter old shrew who never got told she was a princess and that is why I am so militant. Maybe.
My final thought is this princess thing has more nuance than I gave credit... its going to be interesting to navigate in the years to come.

Reality gets all up in my face as Tia has the mother of all tantrums when as I try to get the dress off.


Then there is Zoe. Wonderful, one year old Zoe. I repeat, one year old. I've said this before; Zoe has this kind of personalilty that just is. It's not that she is quiet or anything like that. Its just that Zoe has this quality about her that simply expresses who she is and will not be moved.

And what Zoe is, is girly. Actually they are both girly girls. But where Tia is out there and funky, Zoe is emerging as something of a fashionista. I first observed it when she was crawling around the house with a tiara in her hand, just because ( No I didn't buy the tiara, it was given to us). And then she got into the pearly beads. Its like her outfits are not complete without them. And I don't choose the colours either. Its all Zoe. If this is her at ONE, then obviously I am in for a bit of an education.


So am I just a musty old shrew with a princess complex? Am I taking this all too seriously? Quite possibly. But I won't let go of my opinions just yet. My hope and prayer for my girls is that they grow to be women who are confident in all they are, and are more than a bit of arm candy. That they grasp and enjoy all that they can be as women.



Who knows, maybe they'll do it with a whole lot of pink, fab shoes (no complaints there!) gorgeous outfits and accessories. And, no doubt, with a whole lot of flair.

Back

Well you blink and then 5 weeks or something has passed. I have not given up blogging; I've not been won over by Facebook, its just that life got in the way for a little while. Then I felt that I needed to have a big comeback with something profound to make up for the absence. Then I realised quite how pretentious that was, and that anytime I have been profound it is pretty accidental.

So I remembered that I love writing and - especially with my friends across state or overseas, these monologues are just me chatting and ranting like I always did. And when you look closely at life there is plenty to natter about.

So I am back, with my decaf, ready to go.