The State of Independence

This week Tia has started taking her first steps. The first two were kind of accidental; she was annoyed that I had taken something from her and was chasing after me (and then was thoroughly confused at why I was so happy when she was so annoyed). But since then its become a lot more intentional. She takes a few steps when she thinks we're not watching. At the moment crawling is still the transportation method of choice, simply because she goes so fast. But we can tell those days are numbered; she's getting into the walking thing.

Lots of things in the past month or so has reminded me that Tia is no longer the tiny 6lb 6oz little thing we were introduced to 11 months ago. Her personality is coming into bloom, her passions and preferences increasingly evident. The sight of a dog, any dog will make her squeal, whilst a cat can just walk on by. She loves lasagne and spag bol. Cheerios is her snack of choice. She likes most of her toys, but loves Beaver (the Otter) most of all. She likes music, but she sings along to Veggie Tales.

She is sociable, but always susses people out before she even gives them a smile, totally comfortable in making them feel uncomfortable as she glares. She is aventurous and giddy, giggly and goofy.

My earliest memories of when I was small are me watching people and trying to make sense of the world around me. Watching Aunt May blow these amazing smoke rings and thinking that she was the coolest person EVER. Watching my brother, watching my friends. my pets, watching everything. They were my world; they shaped it and defined it.

I've realised that inspite of her ever increasing independence,Tia needs me more than ever, she's watching me even more closely and learning how to live, how to express herself.She needs me to introduce her to values, boundaries, fun, courage. The type of stuff that's going to be a journey. For both of us...

As we venture into the brave new world of TODDLER dom - its time to take a deep breath, and look closely at the opportunities, the challenges and the cost of the next phase of this great adventure. The opportunity to disciple this effervescent little power house, to encourage her blossoming potential, to protect her and guide her. The challenge of doing all the aforementioned lovely sounding noble tasks with a power house who may not always appreciate the investment! The cost, knowing that this is journey going have its ups and downs.

So whilst on one level, her independence frees me up in many ways, it also introduces a whole new level of sacrifice .You know, more of the whole, you-can't-have-it-all-without -consequences thing, the whole its-not-about-you thing, the whole put-your-dreams-on-the- altar (and just be thankful for the sleep that helps you dream!) thing.
The state of independence is forever changed, for both of us.